I love your goo

I have tried so hard to get into the Crash Test Dummies’ Give Yourself A Hand album. It’s not my thing, and I don’t like the “electronic” aspect of it. I guess I’m one of the more traditionalist fans that prefer the original CTD sound that I grew accustomed to from their first three albums. When they recorded Give Yourself A Hand, they went in a completely different direction with a completely different sound- nothing that I was used to from them, and I don’t love it. “Keep A Lid On Things” is a weird, goofy song. The lyrics seem really simple, but I think the message is deeper for some of them.

However, I feel like Brad wrote some of those lines because he really just didn’t have anything else to fit. And I’m sorry to say that, but they just don’t really resonate with me. I think he was just coming up with words to fill the verses, like “who put the fun in the funhouse?” But I could be wrong. Maybe they have a deeper meaning that I’m not understanding. Who put the words in this word salad? Brad did, I guess.

The only song that I really like from that album is “I Love Your Goo”. It’s a really good song, and it’s pretty interesting to hypothesize about what is really happening. The song is sexy and catchy, with creepy lyrics. Is he singing to a woman who he loves so much that he is expressing that he loves every part of her, even what’s underneath her exterior? And maybe he’s saying that he will still love her after she’s dead. Perhaps…

But I tend to agree with the more popular theory that he is indeed singing to a dead girl. Did he love her and she died, so he kept her body? Or is he a necrophiliac who killed a woman and is now defiling her corpse? Somehow, either way, he makes it sound sexy!

By the way, Brad, I have a great idea for a video for this. I guess it’s too late for that, but maybe not. I’ll tell you what it is if I am cast as the dead girl, and you play my lover. 🤣 If you aren’t interested then I’ll just save it for a story idea. 🙂

Her Name Was Sam, a short film on the original CTD YouTube channel, run by Brad Roberts

Here’s one that boggles the mind and has no explanation. The short film begins with a narration by Brad, where he explains that two roommates need a third or they can’t stay in their place. One of these guys is – you guessed it- played by Brad! The other guy suggests his sister to which Brad replies, “Fuck your sister, dude. Take out an ad!” Then Narrator Brad introduces Sam, who comes in to meet them and decides to sign the lease. Both men seem pleased. Cut to a week later, and we see the two men getting cozy with Sam. They seem to be getting along well, and there’s a really obnoxious conversation that takes place about being “real” whilst roommate #2 scoops the litter box. There’s also a scene between the three where Sam is confiding her problems with a coworker and out of nowhere, Brad begins talking about transcendental deduction (because he’s Brad… Duh!) while puffing a cigarette, and he doesn’t even finish his thought. Roommate #2 shoots him a perplexed look and goes back to the conversation about Sam’s office troubles. Brad doesn’t seem to notice and laughs right along with them.

Then Narrator Brad lets us know something is awry by telling us that things are not always what they seem….. Hmmm, what’s next? Ahh , Cut to Sam staring solemnly into the bathroom mirror before downing a bottle of pills. Brad’s character knocks on the bathroom door to see what’s taking her so long, and then enters. Shocked by what he sees, he calls his roommate to have a look. The next scene we see is Brad sitting on the couch saying that this is the “darkest shit he’s ever been involved with” and asks if they should call her family. The camera pans to the roommate, who says he can’t let her go and he “needs” her. We then see Sam lying lifeless on the other sofa. Narrator Brad tells us that this show is the most daring show HBO has ever made. And that Playboy has called it “scary and plausible”. We then see Brad struggling to keep Dead Sam upright at the table as the men play a game of cards. Her Name Was Sam…

First impressions, besides what the fuck did I just watch?

No, really. What the fuck did I just watch?

Firstly, Brad has a mullet and thick sideburns that are edging into mutton chop territory. We are in the era that I like to call “Hillbilly Brad”.

Second, I have no idea who these other two are in this film.

Third, I have no idea why this film was made. My only theory is that it was an audition tape for his attempt at voice acting.

Fourthly, it’s actually pretty funny for an amateur film.

Fifth, Brad makes a great narrator. If he had succeeded at voice acting, I would absolutely love listening to him.

Sixth, what the fuck is this, Brad? We deserve answers, man!

Crash Test Dummies, God Shuffled His Feet tour

Shout-out to Bacchus and Metallicanor and anyone else whose videos I have linked here. These guys work hard to get these videos uploaded for us to enjoy! Bacchus has a great library full of CTD performances and footage. It’s really amazing! Check them out and subscribe : https://youtube.com/user/ShuffledCTD

Jay Leno, June 21, 1994 https://youtu.be/1uclykXsEY0

Munich, Germany July 13, 1994 https://youtu.be/O1o1oGDZJWo

Italy, July 14, 1994 https://youtu.be/djfP7HV7FdA

Phoenix Festival, July 16, 1994 https://youtu.be/rfUEHS9-w0I

David Letterman, 1994 https://youtu.be/J3UVlpbCpZw

MTV Most Wanted, October 27, 1994 “God Shuffled His Feet” & “In The Days of the Caveman” https://youtu.be/VmyJPlAX_2w

Paris, October 31, 1994 https://youtu.be/Hd0dA_uyhFo

Rose Records, Chicago IL, 1994

David Letterman, July 2, 1995 https://youtu.be/KsyNdvfuOoU

Crash Test Dummies…. Live performances of “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”

John Stewart, 1993 https://youtu.be/7H-czMueCwY

Conan O’Brien, May 4, 1994 https://youtu.be/GkxlAIcq54E

Arsenio Hall, United States, May 19, 1994 https://youtu.be/TguPpcNPwGw

“Headline News”, Canada, featuring WEIRD AL https://youtu.be/49Nm097EhLc

Explore Music, 2010 https://youtu.be/_zs7psK2qz8

National Post Music Studio, 2010 https://youtu.be/YoaIBDKUYcA

One on One, May 12, 2016 https://youtu.be/2hArxk-EUzo

Expresso , South African Morning Show, 2018 https://youtu.be/EZwUNRI6rY4

HOB Anaheim, August 25, 2019 https://youtu.be/PVIlyQ-i14s

Behind The Vinyl, November 11, 2019 https://youtu.be/TaIvH9KuDJE

Rose Theatre, Ontario, January 25, 2020 https://youtu.be/jV-SCAIV4go

Indianapolis, Indiana September 19, 2019 https://youtu.be/gXBczGbnFr4

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm (live- Expresso 2018, South Africa)

He screws up on the first verse (0:52) and starts singing the second one “Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn’t come to school, and when they finally made- uh, BACK!” 😂 Ha!

What is Brad wearing on his feet?

Oh No What GIF by Identity - Find & Share on GIPHY

Brad Roberts talks Song-writing (Hookist)

Hook(ist) was a little project Brad did that consisted of collaborative song-writing and a contest of sorts. I didn’t know about it at the time, or i would have submitted a line, even though it would be crap lol.

He is so sexy when he plays the guitar! However, he says he doesn’t play much anymore because he feels he’s mastered the guitar and taken it as far as he can.

Brad Roberts facts (I think) 😜

(I’ll be adding to this, as I go.)

Brad performing on July 13, 1994 in Munich, Germany

•Birthday: January 10, 1964

•He’s a Capricorn. Ambitious, practical, disciplined, arrogant… Sounds like him, right? He’s a fucking sea goat. I suppose that explains his fondness of sea shanties. What the hell is a sea goat? Per Wikipedia, “The sea goat is a legendary aquatic animal described as a creature that is half goat and half fish. The constellation Capricornus was commonly imagined as a type of sea goat.”

•If he could rename CTD, he said he would call them The OxyMorons. I think this is an awesome name! Keep it witty, Brad!

•To my never-ending heartbreak, he is married. We won’t talk about her here. It’s too painful. But I think they’ve been together for 20 years. 😲 Married around 2005.

•Brad has never wanted kids. I even read that he had a vasectomy but it was “botched”. I have no idea what that means lol. I’m assuming pain was involved.

•Brad has a tattoo on his right arm of a big heart that says ‘MOTHER’. It is featured on the cover of the album, I Don’t Care That You Don’t Mind. He says he got this tattoo because he loves his mom so much, but she is “probably horrified” by it. How sweet 🥰

•Brad says that he cut that gorgeous long tresses because he was living in London and felt like the only person with long hair. He felt that people thought he was trying to draw attention to himself, so he cut it 😡😡 I also think he cut it so he wouldn’t be recognized. I say we start a petition for him to grow it back! 😁

•Brad really enjoys cooking.

•He’s been spending this pandemic intensely studying piano. He has a piano teacher, and he practices every day! Determined, remember?

•Brad is really smart. Like a highly intelligent being. He not only reads books for fun, he reads big, thick books about everything from Philosophy to Mathematics. 😱 He majored in Philosophy and English Literature in college, and says that this helped him tremendously in his song-writing.

Brad Roberts, on writing “My Own Sunrise”

“I wanted to write a song on this record that, on the one hand, would be extremely sexually explicit but, on the other hand, would do so in language which was so veiled in flowery metaphors that it would be just as palatable as you could imagine for any little, for any little child’s ears to take in. And uh, so, I guess a kind of a geography thing to get it off the ground.”

Well done, Brad. That’s why I can listen to it in front of my kids 😉

Canada Day Festival 1991

Some observations about one of my favorite Crash Test Dummies performances…

#1 My deepest gratitude to the person who posted this performance! I just wish the whole thing had been televised!

#2 Hearing CTD play live always makes me like the songs that much more. I mean, in my opinion, this performance of these three songs is better than the album versions!

#3 Ben’s mic doesn’t work for almost 5 whole minutes into the performance! Poor guy is just blowing away into that harmonica, and you can’t hear it!

#4 Brad’s pants… Need I say more?

#5 Ellen is always so happy!

#6 I love all the hair in this video!

#7 Young Brad is so vibrant and happy. I mean, he really looks like he is thoroughly enjoying himself. I know he is older now, and it’s to be expected that the stage presence and energy may have changed a bit, but this was a completely, different vibe.

#8 and that vibe is the hippie festival that I’ll never get to experience 😭

#9 Ben is adorable. I just love watching him play. I’m pretty sure he thought he was going to hit Brad in the face at one point, because he looked behind him (12:15).

#10 Brad is so unbothered by any of it. I love seeing this side of him!

#11 Brad is just gorgeous. Take off those sunglasses so we can see your beautiful face, baby!

#12 Honorable mentions of Dan and Mitch. They are awesome and deserve recognition.

#13 I like this version of “Here On Earth” better. (I know I already said that), but the album version does not have the same music. On the album, they play and abruptly stop after each beat of the bridge, and once you have heard this live performance, it just leaves you wanting more. I think they should re-record it. Ha!

#14 At the end, when the dumb hosts won’t shut up, Brad says something like “perhaps you’ve figured out by now…. that I sound like a …. with a hangover” then he goes into “The Country Life” . I really have tried hard to hear what he’s saying and it’s frustrating that I can’t hear. Grandpappy? Bullfrog? Ha! Who knows?!


So I’ve been trying for years to decide what to do with this blog and what to write about that people would be interested in. But people are all weirdos, and doubtful anyone will read this thing anyway. So I’m gonna write about what I’m interested in, and currently that is Crash Test Dummies and my obsession with Brad Roberts. And it’s BAD. But maybe I can turn ONE PERSON onto Crash Test Dummies, because they deserve way more recognition than they get! So stay tuned, folks!