Tired all the time

One of worst parts of chronic illness is fatigue.  And this seems to be a common ailment , no matter the condition.  It all comes down to how much energy you are able to use before your next nap.  I have seen people go a full day without recharging their batteries. And this always amazes me.  My mother, for instance, does not usually take naps unless it’s a weekend.  She wakes up at 6am and works a full day. Then she just keeps going like the energizer bunny.  A slow one; but nevertheless, she doesn’t stop.   At the end of the day, it is obvious my mother is exhausted.  But she still stays up till about 10pm,  if not later.  

I cannot even fathom how to do that.  If something were to come up, and I had to, there would likely be a moment of snoozng in there.  Even if I had to do it in ten minute intervals.  That’s the thing about chronic illness. It never stops beating you down and wearing you out.  those of us who are more susceptible to fatigue than others can be very misunderstood by the average human.  

Many of us with chronic illness and fatigue are labeled as lazy or unmotivated.  That usually isn’t the case at all!  There are TONS  of things I want to do with my life!  I’ve always been a big dreamer, and  I’ve always been very motivated to achieve these things. Like somehow, it will all work out and I’ll get where I want to go.  However, I made some bad decisions in college, and didn’t go down the planned path at all.  Now, two kids later, and a debilitating disability, I don’t know if I’ll ever do those things.  

I admit, I loved to sleep before I developed lymphedema.  I probably could be referred to as a little lazy. Maybe a lot lazy on the weekends.  And I was always have been overweight with hypothyroidism, which doesn’t help at all with fatigue and energy levels.  But I got done what needed to be done, for the most part.  I worked a full time job.  I walked and exercised at times, even though I didn’t love doing it.  Looking back, I would definitely move more. I’d walk down the street more and see nature. I would enjoy the ability to do these things.   But that’s the thing about hindsight.