In reference to Bette Midler’s recent tweet —

I really like Bette midler. Her tweets amuse me but also often make very valid points. While what she is saying ,I think, is true, that’s not how I would word it. I don’t personally think any of us should get into a “who’s more oppressed” contest. Because there are a lot of populations who are, and NONE of it should be tolerated!

In social work classes, we learned about populations at risk. And this was an interesting thing that I’ve carried with me since…. You take an individual & you look at all that counts against them. Let’s say a white woman like me who is straight, for the most part 😋 My risk factor for suffering is much lower than my black lesbian friend, who has three strikes against her. That’s what you call triple jeopardy- black, gay, female. Her risk for oppression & potential suffering is much higher. That’s not to say that my black lesbian friend doesn’t have a much better life than I do. She may have a nice house, with a wife, kids, a good job, and a steady income. While I am disabled, unemployed, in low income housing and on food stamps. But as far as privilege, I have more.

The odds are always against us in life. Some have more luck than others. But still, it’s important to look at these factors and consider that there are things that people go through that we may never totally understand because we don’t know what it’s like being a black lesbian in a straight white man’s world.

Women do have to fight harder many times, in different situations. And we are just talking about America. Think of other countries where women must be fully covered & are held down and circumcised as toddlers! They are mutilated & raped, etc. It’s like just because we have vaginas, men just have to stick their penises in us & they don’t think they need permission.

I know in my life, I’ve been in very bad relationships because men have not valued me & have not treated me with respect & worth. And my upbringing & bad decisions contributed to that, as well, but that’s another conversation. But do I think it’s because I was born female? Yes I most definitely do. There are many instances in my life that I know my gender made me appear weak to others bc I was raised to think I was weak.

It’s not easy for women. But when you are a woman of color, you have double the struggle.